Accident meet us accidentally

I assumed that this post will provoke controversy and of course Syazana will be miserable about this post, and I expect nothing from her, I mean the one I'll talk about later on. Let this explain the untold truth stories. Yes, accident meet us accidentally. As I remember it was on April 2009 when I went to your school also at which my father teaching too, but I don't know exactly when it was, the date, the day. My father said that your class was the superior class in his school, so I went into your class, errrr 5 Sains, is it true?

My first day in your class quite fine, all of your classmate were very friendly, especially Jen, Ayu, Mashitah and few others and they spoke and befriend with me. I'm not sure whether you speak to me or not during the first day. Of course I do have no confident to talk with you cause I realized that you the gorgeous one in your class, I assumed that you had been owned. I thought we never ever befriend. Surprisingly day by day, we became close to each other and finally befriend.

Yet, I making huge mistake by closing to someone who was not been your friend and perhaps I did that to make you envious, and by this time, I even don't remember what her name. Okay we skip that part cause I know you still remember what happen to us after that. Until last few days I was in you school, you helped me to buy foods, drinks too and kindly brought them to my father's room cause I'm unable to do that due to my broken hand and on that time I do admire you, secretly admire you, am I telling you about this on that time, hee? Somehow I managed to have your phone number and I knew that time you will be mine. Don't take it too serious, it's just thoughtless joke.

But then, that assumption seem difficult to be true, cause on that time I knew that you admired someone but till now I even don't know his name. Time goes by and my broken hand get better and its time to say bye bye to you. We lost contact for several months and scarcely a month before our spm examination, we contact each other again. That time I told you about my feeling and I still remember you said to me, 'can I give the answer after spm?', then we lost contact once again. I tried to call and text you but no single reply from you, you kept silent. How could you do this to me? You really made me felt so down on that time.

Afterward spm I get known to someone so called Syazana. Yes, the one who fully owned my heart up until now, but we still get contact to each other but rarely. I guess you already know that by thats time about my relationship with her. You said you wanna wait for me but I don't think that you really meant about it. Before I went to Egypt to further my study, I went to your house and you served me choc cake and mee, I do admitted you cooked very well. Then, we (your younger brother and friends) went to the beach on that evening together to make you feel relieve due to loss of your father, which also friend to my parents, I'm very sorry for mentioning about this.

Now, whatever it takes, she, Syazana will be my only soul, she have been so kindhearted toward me and patiently adapt with my behavior during all the past days we have been got through together. She suffer so much cause of my bad manner towards her, I'm really sorry about that dear. Never blamed on me on whatever happen and always tried her best to satisfied my heart even her heart broken so badly. I must be the most lucky man on earth to have her and she also the one who always guiding me in this life - much more matured in action rather than me. Nashuha Ruslan, I do like you as friend but I do love her, Syazana Jasman as my soul mate for my entire life. But still I'm grateful as the person once who I love, loved me back :)

Rest in peace

Our last raya together - 2011

pssst: when it comes to make decision, i'm always made bad one, but this time its the best for me